


The Weight Of Living

by sourgummies



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Implied Relationships, Lost Love, M/M, Mentions of Character Death, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-11
Updated: 2014-01-11
Packaged: 2018-01-08 08:44:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1130589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sourgummies/pseuds/sourgummies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky is dead</p>
<p>And Steve Rogers is left in the aftermath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Weight Of Living

When Peggy finds Steve, he’s sitting in a broken bar with an almost empty bottle of amber coloured whisky. The place is charred black by the flames that had viciously licked up the walls two weeks ago in the last bomb raid. There’s a gaping hole in the wall that the Agent walks through, almost stumbling as her shoes catch on splintered wood and glass.

It hadn't been difficult to guess where Steve would be. This was the last place all of them had been together, Bucky included, happy and drunk and warm. Full of life and endless possibilities.

Now the place was crumbling to the ground and Bucky was dead.

Dead… _God_.

Steve lifts a numb hand to brush away the wetness on his cheeks as he hears Peggy’s approach.

“Steve, there was nothing you could have done.” She says gently from behind him, reaching a hand out to his broad shoulder and squeezing.

He wants to shrug her off. He feels sick at her touch; she has _no idea_ just how wrong she is. If Steve had just gotten up a few seconds faster than he had, Bucky would still be here and they would be on to the next mission, taking down Hydra one base at a time, as they had been for the last several months.

Now it all meant nothing. Without Bucky, he was nothing.

The only person he had ever truly respected and admired and _loved…_ and he had let him fall.

“Jesus, Steve!” Peggy curses.

The combination of her voice and the sharp stinging sensation that travels up his left arm pulls him out of the depths he was drowning in. Blood is swiftly pouring out of his hand and onto the floor through several deep gashes and he stares at it, lost in the flowing lines of crimson.

He realises sluggishly that he’s broken the whiskey bottle he had been holding earlier. Not that it had done him any good. Couldn’t get drunk anymore. It was…had been one of Bucky’s favourite drinks. ‘Whiskey. On the rocks.’ He had said once in that smooth voice of his, directing a playful wink at Steve.

He had just wanted a taste of Bucky. He didn’t even know what the flavour would have been like. Probably rich and complicated but with a tangy aftertaste that came with smoking. Not that he would ever know now.

Peggy touched his shoulder and her warmth radiated through his arm. He felt so darn cold, right through to the centre; he was utterly hollowed out and raw but as he leaned into her touch her warmth ebbed away some of the chill.

“Let’s get you back to base and take a look at that hand of yours, Rogers.” She said and it sounded like an order, so Steve stood numbly to follow her.

He didn’t bother mentioning the wound was probably just about healed. Talking was too mundane at this point; words didn’t mean anything in the darkness that had settled like a heavy blanket over his shoulders. He had no light to grasp for, no name to call. Just an endless abyss set out before his feet.

As his feet crunched through debris, he clenched his cut fist and reopened the wounds he had caused, causing the blood to flow freely again at the sudden sharp tang over anger that came over him. He would get revenge for Bucky.  He would take down every single Hydra Agent and finally, the Red Skull himself. Make the man suffer as he had suffered.

He gathered his resolve and picked his feet up a little higher, his back straightening with military precision as he walked out of the broken pub.

And if Peggy noticed a change in his demeanor, she didn’t say anything. Just fell into step beside him and began the long walk back to base.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I had to get out some Bucky/ Steve feels after watching Captain America for the umpteenth time. Absolutely adore these two.


End file.
